confessions of the goulash kid…

 

i have a confession to make, something that i have kept secret for nearly 50 years, OMG has it been that long? yes it has viewers, a little dark secret that brings just a touch of shame. in this blog post i am attempting to atone for my sins and if the recipes that i am testing in my kitchen are successful then perhaps the culinary gods have forgiven me.

growing up i had a very glamorous grandmother, just ask my longest time bestie anica who is the big sister i never had. true she was not your typical grandma, i think her star sign must have had something to do with it. (think lioness) and my mother named me after her but the anglo version. personally I would have preferred her version but unlike nanny as we affectionately called her (as she refused to be called bubba) i really am not cut from the same glamorous cloth.

nanny was a self-made business woman who owned her own home and business which she operated from the same premises. in keeping with the glamour theme, she was a hairdresser. and i spent many a childhood day with my siblings playing in the cellar and eavesdropping on conversations while inhaling perm solution. we would also steal ourselves a packet of juicyfruits from her chewing gum stand. once we even boldly flogged a ten pack of viscount cigarettes and attempted to smoke them down in the cellar, while choking profusely before stubbing them out.

but one of our favourite things was to play hide and seek with her german shepherd rinnie, who could find us in about 3 seconds flat. when she had a litter of puppies it was always the best time, watching them grow, cuddling them, playing with them. my sister managed to hide one in the back of the chevrolet which she called cindy but of course it went straight back to nanny’s the next day. later i was even given one to look after but he stayed at nanny’s place. i called him rex and he was the first thing i ever truly loved unconditionally. sadly when nanny died my parents gave him away. i was devastated beyond words and truly heartbroken. but i am veering off the goulash path, so let me just step back on.

well folks you are probably wondering what has all this got to do with goulash? a lot actually. nanny lived in a big house and she rented her spare rooms to the young croatian men who came to australia to begin a new life. astute woman, making more money while already making money. besides we helped them learn a bit of english and most were pretty good apart from one guy who seemed to take a dislike to us. obviously, he wasn’t a fan of kids and it probably didn’t help that we use to snoop around in their rooms while they were at work. but it was just a childish game folks. i don’t know what we were expecting to find (we did find a copy of velika gospodjas love paprikash, which i think was code for big ladies like cooking, however i can’t reveal what it was that was actually big, let’s just say they had interesting cooking attire) of course miroslav and yes i am keeping his identity a secret caught us and dobbed us in to nanny. and he demanded we be punished with the shiba which is a slavic form of torture in the form of a stick from the tree. we had to line up from oldest to youngest and cop a whack across the hand. of course miroslav was very satisfied with this punishment and laughed at our cries of pain, which incidentally were pretty fake; well just a bit.

from that day forth i have to admit i wasn’t his fan and although revenge crossed my mind, i am more of the opportunist type rather than a die-hard revenge seeker. you see miroslav thought of himself as a bit of a cook, well he seemed to think he was pretty good and would often cook for his other croat mates if he got back from work first. i know what you may be thinking and yes this is where my confession comes in. not being one to let a golden opportunity slip by, i just happened to notice he was making a big pot of goulash that was bubbling away on the kitchen stove. i used my best detective skills and hid behind the door watching him take a slurp before exiting. i really can’t explain what came over me folks. i stealthily, slipped in quietly, reached for the chilli powder and tipped the whole lot in before giving it a quick stir and slinking away. of course you can well imagine the drama it caused after a hard day’s work. miroslav piling on the goulash that was now inedible. i definitely cannot repeat the words i heard coming from the kitchen but let’s just say i for one felt a pang of satisfaction. but i was a kid, so lets just leave it at that. and i do feel remorseful for all that food going to waste. and there is no way I would do that again except maybe for crocodile dundee and his new bride…mwah ha ha ha ha.

 here is the recipe i tweaked from a blog called chasing the donkey. actually if you ask me they should call it chasing the magarac...(pronounced mugaratz) instead. i quite like the sound of that word and have to admit it is my favourite hrvatski insult. and just one more confession, i called ivan maric (from the richmond tigers )a mugaratz during a match. and i know he heard because he was smiling, probably thinking… is that the best they can do? all I can say he is lucky i didn’t use some other vocabulary i learnt from my dad, hee-hee.

so viewers this is a rather tasty recipe and my recommendation is to save it for the cooler weather. i did make the somun bread to go with it but i shall save that for a separate post. i have slightly tweaked it, this will serve 4-6.

traditional goulash…

ingredients

• 1kg beef (chuck steak)
• 4 medium onions halved and finely sliced
• 6 carrots grated ( you could also grate half and chop half roughly to add a bit more texture)
• 4 large cloves of garlic
• 4 bay leaves
• 300 ml red wine
• 1 litre of beef stock
• 6 tablespoons dijon mustard
• ½ teaspoon vegeta
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 1 teaspoon white pepper
• 1 1/2 teaspoon sweet red paprika
• olive oil for frying
• parsley for garnish

method

1. cut beef into smaller pieces. marinate it in the mustard and spices and let it sit in the refrigerator for one hour.
2. heat olive oil in a pot and fry the meat on all sides until it gets browned. once the meat is cooked, transfer it to a plate and add more oil to the pot. cook the onions and carrots over low heat for 15 minutes.
3. once the vegetables have browned and become slightly mushy, add the meat and bay leaves and garlic. pour over with wine and simmer for 10-15 minutes to allow the alcohol to evaporate. add the beef stock, bring to boil and then simmer slowly.
4. cover the pot and cook over low heat for an hour- two hours, stirring occasionally. thicken with a tablespoon of flour/rice flour if needed.
5. serve with freshly baked somun bread ( see up coming blog post) to dip into, mashed potato or rice.